A Shitty Event

This is a very disgusting story.  It is so silly and disgusting till I cannot tahan, I must write it down.

A friend of mine (to protect his reputation and clean image as a CEO of a company, I am not going to mention his name here) has very weak stomach.  Looking for toilet after meals has become his unavoidable habit.   Despite the fact that he gets “lau sai” (diarrhea) easily, he still couldn’t resist the temptation of all kinds of delicious local food.

One day, after lunch in a shopping mall, he suddenly felt his bowel movement.  The traumatic feel was getting stronger and stronger.  Desperately in need to release the load, he dashed to the washroom as fast as lightning, only to find out all 3 cubicles in that particular washroom were occupied.  He tried very hard to hold but the pain is too intense that he could feel the heat at his bottom and it was going to explode.  He could no longer hold it.  Since nobody was outside the cubicles, he quickly pulled down his pants, turned his butt to one of the urinals and loudly let it out!!  Still no one walked into the washroom, he pulled back his pants after the “quick-do”, walked out of the washroom calmly pretending nothing happened.

I laughed so hard till my stomach pain when he told us the story.  I could imagine the 3 guys inside the cubicles must be thinking who the @#$& that farted so loudly outside?  As soon as they walked out the cubicles, they sure to discover the big pile of dump (oh my goodness…. so gross!!!! :D) in the urinal.  Surely they would curse and swear – which uncivilized bastard did such disgusting thing… HAHAHA!!!

I laughed too hard, I actually forgot to ask him whether he did clean himself and wash his hands after he finished his business :D.

Sucker TV

After saying goodbye to my favorite denim shorts, I have to say goodbye to my Sony LCD TV.  Not my favorite, it’s just an LCD TV but there is a story to tell.

We always wanted to own an LCD TV as our old TV was huge and bulky and when we shifted into our current house back in 2005, the old TV didn’t go with the interior of our house at all.  We admired the flat screen and the slick design of LCD TV so much (still considered as new technology at that point of time), so wanted to buy one but hesitated coz it was so damn freaking expensive!!

When I was informed there’d be a Sony warehouse sale, I was quite excited about it.  On that particular day, my ex-colleague went to the sale early in the morning.  

She called me, “Hey, you know what? There is a LCD 32” TV on clearance sales.  Original price is RM17,000+ and now marked down to RM13,999.  If you want it, I can help you to block it.” 

“But why still so expensive?” I asked. 

“This one fully imported from Japan and comes with designer screen.  You need to be fast coz there are a lot of people here eyeing on it.” She replied.

“Ok, block it for me.  I’ll be there in half an hour.” I replied.

I called to inform my husband, he was also excited about it.  So, I rushed to the warehouse sale, paid the bill and happily drove home with a new LCD TV.  Got it RM3,000 cheaper, so happy :).

The so called “designer screen” is really nice, the TV screen seems like floating on a glass panel and thus it gives you a wrong impression that it is bigger than 32”.  We loved it so much and happily showing it off to whoever walked into our house.  Felt so proud of it.

The sad news happened exactly one month later…. SONY LAUNCHED ITS NEW LCD TV – BRAVIA, AND THE RETAIL PRICE FOR A 32” WAS RM6,999.  Our hearts sank when we heard the news…. betrayed, con job, disappointment, anger, regret, stupid, sucker, @#$%^&*…. all sorts of negative words flashing through our mind.  We were the BIGGEST SUCKERS on earth.

Some of our friends tried really hard to console the suckers, “Your TV is nicer than Bravia.  The screen is really special.  You can’t find this screen anywhere else.”  Yeah…. We love the screen too but we’d rather exchange the beautiful screen with two Bravias.

 

6 years have gone past.   One month ago, we discovered a small batch of white bubbles growing on the so called “designer screen” and the bubbles multiplied and now have already occupied more than half of the so called “designer screen”.  It’s time to get a new one (budget RM2,000 this time!!).  Bye…. sucker TV.

White bubbles on the "designer screen".

Farewell To My Favorite Denim Shorts

Before I say goodbye to my most favorite denim shorts :’(, I must write about its stories.  

This is my most favorite denim shorts:

Lately, it became so torn that it attracted a lot of comments.

My brother, “Wah… jie, your pants becomes shorter now.”

My sis, “No money buy pants ah?”

A random guy in salon, “Your jeans, is it originally torn like that when you bought it?  It’s nice, very natural… very difficult to get this torn.”  Of coz it’s natural lah…. It tears naturally after more than 10 years of wear and tear.

One of my guy friends, “Ooh…. Very sexy…”

My hubby, “DON’T THROW IT AWAY!!  It’s my favorite denim shorts!”  Huh?? YOUR denim shorts??

The most entertaining one was my mum, “Your pants….. do you need help to patch it?”

My answer always is, “Don’t you ever touch my jeans!! This is fashion! You can’t buy this type of torn with money!!”

My ex-boyfriend (aka my husband now :D) bought this denim shorts for me from Sungai Wang in year 1999 (wow!!! 12 years!!).  We were there doing CNY shopping, he saw this particular denim shorts and insisted that l try it and it'd look sexy on me.  I refused coz I didn’t have the intention to buy shorts.  So we left the shop.  But I could sense the surrounding atmosphere changed…. My ex put on his long and black face the whole afternoon after I refused to buy the denim.  This was so rare coz he is normally quite cool about things and I didn’t expect he got angry on such a small matter.  To ease the situation, I told him, “Okay, okay, we go back and buy the shorts.” (What the heck, anyway, it’d be a free new shorts to me :D)  Then only he showed me his smile.  Walked back all the way to the shop (honestly I couldn’t remember which shop loh…. But he could remember  woh) and bought the denim shorts.

After wearing a few times, I fell in love with it.  My denim shorts followed me everywhere l go, from KL to London, Paris, Nice, Italy, LA, Vegas, Australia, Bali, etc.

London Tower Bridge in 1999

Paris Eiffel Tower, 1999 - Wah... last time so romantic one ah? :D

Las Vegas, 2001

Bali, 2001

Summer @ Cannes, 2003

A small little castle near Cannes, 2003

Venice St. Marco Square, 2003

Pisa The Leaning Tower, Italy 2003

Gold Coast, 2006

Brisbane, 2006

 

There was a downturn once, I almost gave up this denim shorts 2 years ago after giving birth to Kate.   I was fat!!  I couldn’t wear most of my pants, of coz that including my favorite denim shorts.  I was so deeply depressed and wanted to pack all my pants to give them away. I wanted to change my entire wardrobe.  My husband stopped me.  My girlfriends advised me, “Don’t buy any new pants!!! You will be able to get back your shape and wear all your old pants again.”  Yes!! Girls, you are right!! Eventually I was able to fit in all my old pants :).  I was over joyed once I could fit into my favorite denim shorts again :).

12 Years, from a proper denim shorts to a very torn jeans.  After receiving all positive and some not so positive comments,  I actually did a few rounds of “careful inspections”…. Perhaps it’s almost time to say goodbye :’((.

My favorite denim shorts ….. I’ll remember you for life… sob, sob…  :’((….

Against the Order of Nature

A recent conversation with my housemate aka my roommate (;D) touching the topic on Elton John’s new baby and who is the biological father which leads to the term “against the order of nature”…. It seems that “oral sex” and “anal sex” are against the order of nature and illegal when comes to Malaysian law.

According to Laws of Malaysia Act 574 - Carnal intercourse against the order of nature

377A.   Any person who has sexual connection with another person by the introduction of the penis into the anus or mouth of the other person is said to commit carnal intercourse against the order of nature.

The punishment of having carnal intercourse shall be imprisonment for a term which may extend to 20 years and also be liable to whipping. 

Interesting….. if a person licks his/her partner’s fingers is ok, why can’t he/she licks the partner’s private part?  If a man uses his finger to poke into his partner’s ear is considered “natural” and “legal”, what is so “unnatural” about using his dick to poke anywhere else?  Hmmm…..

Sunblock & Body Lotion

We went to Adelaide in Jan 2010, the Aussie summer weather was hot and dry.  

After 2 days of walking on the streets, my hubby complained that his skin was cracking due to the dry weather.   I told him to apply my body lotion on his skin for moisturizing and preventing more skin cracking.  So, he took my advice and started to apply lotion to his whole body.

The next day, as usual, before going out for sightseeing, I was doing my routine applying all sorts of necessary stuff such as lotion lah, moisturizer lah, etc on my face.  When came to sunblock, I realized the tube is almost empty?  Eh… strange?  I remembered I brought quite a full tube.  

Looking at my hubby who was checking on his cracking skin and complaining still painful, I asked him, “Which lotion did you use last night?”

Hubby, “The brown colour tube.”

l cried, “Didn’t you check the wording before you used it.  That’s my SUNBLOCK!!!  Do you know how expensive is this tube? And do you have to use almost 1 full tube for 1 time!!???”

Hubby, “Huh? Sunblock ah? Heehee… How do I know woh? You told me that one on the table mah.  I just grabbed one that looks like lotion lah.  No wonder I don’t feel any effect at all :D.” Didn’t feel sorry at all and still laughing!!

I was speechless.…..

Does this look like a body lotion?

A hot and dry summer Adelaide

 

 

We drove and kena summonsed for speeding.... still haven't settled yet ;p

Peter and his Aussie friend :)

Lovely beach... but too quiet and deserted.

Celebrated 2010 New Year in Adelaide :)

Love this small little village in Adelaide :)

Had lunch @ Kaesler Vineyard.

Went for a walk after lunch, he told me that the grass was nice and he wanted to sit down.

Felt nice under the shade and he said he wanted to lie down.

Less than 2 mins, he was snoring away... zzzzzzzzz...